untitled

anonymous

cw: drowning imagery

every night i struggle
to swim against the tide
of my own tears

cold
wet
i run out of places to hide
the tears seep into every crack

they flood my safe havens
they infiltrate
even the most robust hiding spots
they freeze and
crack

my walls come crashing down
lashing out at me again
i struggle to breathe
again

one of these days
my tears will win
i will drown
and succumb to them

17 May 2018, 23:49 pm

i live in a darkness
so deep the stars have drowned
they lay at the bottom of the seabed
covered in thickets of seaweed
swallowing their light
the stars fell

the day you turned away from me

for you are my sun
the stars fed on your light
they shone bright
glittering like your eyes
twirling in the depths of the dark

i am the moon
drunk on your light
i can only shine in your presence
without you i am a shadow
my dark side
the craters of my soul visible
the craters in my heart boring deep in twisted pain

the day you turned away all was lost
the stars fell
like tear drops
into the ocean
they lost their glimmer to the seabed
as i lost my light to you

17 May 2018, 23:57 pm

i am sorry
for the pain that i have caused
for the memories i refuse to let die

i refuse to pull the plug
to watch the magic that feeds them cease
to be the one to starve them of the oxygen they need
to exist

i am sorry for hurting you
i am sorry for not letting go
i am sorry for not not loving you
i am sorry for clinging to our memories the way i clung to the teddy bear you gave me
the day we touched lips

i am sorry

18 May 2018, 00:05 am